Artist Statements

“Hair Abjection”

♦Anorexia nervosa has the highest premature fatality rate of any mental illness
♦The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is twelve times higher than the death rate of ALL causes of death for females fifteen to twenty four years old
♦In the United States, as many as ten million females and one million males are fighting a life and death battle with an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia
♦Three Million people in the United States alone suffer from morbid Obesity.
♦Age at onset of an eating disorder:
♦10% report onset at 10 years or younger
♦33% report onset between ages of 11-15
♦43% report onset between ages of 16-20
♦86% report onset of illness by the age of 20

“It is, at the most basic level, a bundle of contradictions: a desire for power that strips you of all power. A gesture of strength that divests you of all strength.”
- Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia 1998

My current body of work is a series of drawings done in graphite, color pencil, water color and chalk pastel on archival board and paper. I am addressing the issue of often hidden neuroses of eating disorders such as Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge Eating Disorder, Compulsive Over Eating and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. In some of my drawings I explore the start and cause of eating disorders in child hood and it’s long lasting affects through the adult life. I use my own personal experiences to flesh out stories in each drawing. I place symbols that embellish themes of fetishes with the body. The subjects are abject female figures that are grotesque or incomplete. In these figures I include a sense of body dissatisfaction and thus showing body image coping patterns through sealing or idealizing the body. Hair plays an important role in my work, it is my visual representation of the multidimensional eating disorder. When hair grows it starts from inside our skin then grows out like ideas and emotion, this is where I give it a life of it’s own as a metaphor. For example, so much about eating disorders has to do with feelings of control and by cutting hair that is a symbol of a loss of power or control. Hair evokes a long history of symbolism from around the world which I often reference. My drawings have almost a trichophilia for hair. The cat represents regressive fantasies. Regression is a form of retreat, going back to a time to when the person felt safer. I view them as an escape, craving of their simple lifestyle. They are often observing and appear to be loyal and non judgmental companions. In allot of my work I draw on pastel or kitsch colors this is a reference to childhood and innocence. I often use pink because pink encourages action, motion, courage and passion. Pink is viewed as gentle and appropriate color for healing and can be used to relieve depression. I use these colors for their comfort or warmth in juxtaposition to disturbing subject matter or imagery. The use of patterns literally mean patterns that eating disordered individuals often take on in their manic routines. Another symbol I use are spirals, like a downward spiral into a cycle one feels as if they cannot escape from. Forced to repeat the same self destructive acts over and over again. My work is an intended catharsis for the viewer, evoking overwhelming feelings, resulting in restoration and renewal in oneself.

Artist Statement for “Spiral of Rituals” Installation 2005

This body of work is a series of life-sized drawings. They are done on paper with graphite pencils, which are then turned into cutouts that are freestanding from the wall. The subjects are mannequin like, abject women who are drawn as if they are monsters or freaks being displayed on a stage or in a circus sideshow. There is a voyeuristic element to the work because they are torturing themselves on display and we are allowed to watch. The figures are watching the viewers watch them and therefore are in control of the situations they have placed themselves in. At the same time there are no sexual organs on the female creatures and there are allusions to self-inflicted eating disorders as well. These are two different ideas merged together to address the issue of often hidden neuroses.

Distorted and contorted bodies are an important part of my work. They represent the internal struggle that is twisting and pulling in impossible directions. The drawings are a way of visually representing the sense of an uncomfortable and disturbing presence. Eating disorders and the women who house them are similar to how the world perceives and often times idolizes freaks. We are surrounded by images everywhere of idealized females totally devoid of any humanity, and they are fetishized. I place symbols in my drawings that embellish these themes of fetishes with eating and the body, like hair. Obsession surrounds the simple task of eating, how much is eaten, digestion, and how the intake is purged. The purging process becomes a fascination with many gratifications.

My work deals with the abject body, female figures that are grotesque or incomplete. My skills with the pencil draw the viewer in through technical virtuosity. I seduce the viewer to examine the work, and upon further inspection they realize that they are looking at something disturbing. I hope to evoke a negative aesthetic response from people. To achieve this goal I render images that create connection and rejection, repulsion and attraction.